Buddhism: Is Becoming a Monk the Ultimate Act of Filial Piety?

Becoming a monk has long been regarded as a noble path in Buddhism, but can we truly claim that it is the highest form of filial piety? In Theravāda Buddhism, filial devotion is not solely defined by renouncing the world; it also includes guiding parents toward the Dharma, practicing virtue, and cultivating good karma. However, there are certain cases where taking monastic vows is seen as the most profound expression of gratitude toward one’s parents.

A person shaves their head, puts on the robes, and leaves their family behind to pursue liberation. They believe this is the ultimate way to repay their parents—not just the ones in this life, but countless parents across past lifetimes. But what happens when those parents grow old? Who will care for them when they are sick? If becoming a monk is truly the highest form of filial piety, does it justify abandoning one’s parents when they need support the most?

Filial Piety in Theravāda Buddhism

Theravāda Buddhism emphasizes personal responsibility, ethical conduct, and the pursuit of enlightenment. One does not accumulate merit simply by shaving their head and putting on robes. In the Anguttara Nikaya (AN 2.33), the Buddha states that filial piety is not about rituals or offerings, but about concrete actions that help parents lead virtuous lives. A child may provide their parents with gold and riches or even carry them on their back for life, but if they do not guide them toward morality and wisdom, have they truly shown filial piety?

So, does becoming a monk serve this purpose? If renouncing the household life enables someone to guide their parents toward righteousness, it could be considered an act of filial piety. But if it means leaving parents to fend for themselves in their old age, can it still be called devotion?

Enlightenment or Escaping Responsibility?

Imagine a child witnessing their parents’ suffering, exhaustion, and worries, then deciding that the best way to help them is… to leave everything behind and seek their own enlightenment. In Mahāyāna thought, this might be justifiable: once enlightened, a person can “save” countless beings, including their parents. But from a practical standpoint, does this truly help them?

Consider this scenario: A child believes becoming a monk is the best way to show gratitude to their parents. However, the parents wish for their child to remain by their side, providing care in old age. What should the child choose? If they insist that renouncing the world is the highest form of filial piety, they are essentially placing their own beliefs above the immediate needs of their parents. Does this align with the true meaning of filial devotion?

Theravāda Buddhism does not promote blind sacrifice but emphasizes awareness and responsibility. If a person enters monastic life and causes their parents to suffer emotionally, can they truly claim to be accumulating merit? Or is this simply a way to justify their personal spiritual pursuit?

Spiritual Merit or Personal Gain?

Some later Buddhist traditions—particularly those emphasizing temple donations—propagate the idea that taking monastic vows generates immense spiritual merit. They claim that not only does the person benefit, but their parents, too, receive blessings. However, this notion leans more toward “spiritual fundraising” than the original teachings of Theravāda Buddhism.

In reality, if a child becomes a monk and neglects their aging parents, who will care for them? If everyone chose monastic life as the ultimate form of filial piety, how would society function? Does this mean those who do not become monks are unfilial?

A monk may inspire many people through their teachings, but there are also children who express deep filial piety by tending to their parents’ every need. Which of these is truly more meaningful?

Ordination Is Not the Only Form of Filial Piety

To claim that becoming a monk is the highest form of filial piety is to dismiss all other forms of devotion. In reality, there are many ways to honor one’s parents:

• Providing care and support in their old age
• Offering emotional and financial assistance
• Encouraging them to live virtuous and meaningful lives

Choosing the monastic path is a respectable decision, but it should not be seen as the only valid way to express gratitude toward one’s parents. A child who lives responsibly and directly supports their parents is just as virtuous as one who dedicates their life to Buddhist practice.

While seeking enlightenment is a personal choice, framing it as “the ultimate act of filial piety” is more of a religious justification than an absolute truth. Theravāda Buddhism does not endorse the idea that “abandoning parents is the best way to help them.” Instead, it encourages guiding parents toward righteousness and wisdom.

A child who ensures their parents live a happy, fulfilling life is demonstrating true filial piety. On the other hand, if becoming a monk is merely an excuse to shift responsibility while believing that spiritual merit alone will benefit one’s parents, it is nothing more than self-deception.